Just another fall

I miss you and I want to see you. I often dream about you. I love. Love, migraine, painkillers. There's something wrong again with my blood vessels. We are at a 10-minute distance from each other. But 10 minutes of what? It's been a month already since I intended to meet you and to give you something I'd brought for you from Rome. My angel. We can't put it up without suffering. It's as necessary as the air to breath. For us. For me. For you. Our own. Mutual. Somebody else's. Till tomorrow. Till the day after tomorrow. Till some day. We'll be loving each other. We'll be living in each other. I'll be living. With and without you. Why, I ask myself, but always fail to find the answer. There's no answer whatsoever. I'm just in love. All the vulgarity and absurdity of this world step back. Life comes across as a miracle. For an instant. People have ceased to believe in miracles. Words and concepts lose their meaning. I resist it as hard as I can. So do you. Sometimes roughly and ridiculously. We manage to avoid the hateful bombast. At times it seems to me I know you inside out. But every day I get to know something new. People's souls are fathomless. Or, maybe, just huge. For everything has an edge, even the Ocean. That's why it can be so furious time and again. That's why we are so furious time and again. We are all tortured by the physical limits. But that only means we are alive. You and me. Here and now. 

Being half

I lay on the grass, looking at the sky, squinting at the sun which randomly appeared and disappeared. I asked father:

“Why there is less sunshine in England than in France?”

He lay next to me:

“Because England is further north than France.”

“Is there anything further north than England?”

“Scotland.”

“There is even less sunshine in Scotland?”

“Yes.”

“And something further north than Scotland?”

“Iceland”

“Sounds cold! There is no sunshine at all there?”

“There is very little of it.”

“Then I would never want to go there! I love sunshine! That's why I love France so much! You know, it's really hard being half something.”

“Being what?”

“When I was little Aurélie told me I was half French and half English. I couldn't quite get then what it was like, I was trying to find those halves in my body. Now I’m better at understanding what it's all about, but it means I have to love two totally different countries. If I weren't half something, my heart would forever belong to only one of them.”

My Blueberry Nights

I've just seen it. I know it's been on for quite a while, but I didn't have time or.. probably I was waiting for the right moment to come along. I can't say for sure now what I loved most about it: was it the storyline or maybe the dialogues, or the soundtrack (which I'd listened to before I saw the movie itself). "New York, New York". Yeah, the soundtrack is really fabulous. Or maybe what I loved most about it was that upside down kiss? No, I'll tell you what... before I came back home late at night, I'd spent a day with someone truly special and when I was watching the movie, all alone in my bed, my wrists still smelled of her perfume. And I'll always remember that. I'll always remember THAT restless blueberry night.